Spiritual Fanny Pack

My sponsee shared this great reading today about trust. I'm pasting it below this post. I can't give credit, b/c I really don't know where it came from.

I have a new child who came into my life yesterday who came with a laundry list of diagnoses. One of the diagnoses is Reactive Attachment Disorder (RAD.) One of the common behaviors of RAD kids is hoarding, b/c they have been deprived and don't feel that they will be provided with enough food to eat. One of the interventions that's used sometimes is to give them a fanny pack of food that they can keep with them, and keep restocking it when it's empty.

When I read the reading below, I realized that I've been hoarding when it comes to control, and that what I need is a spiritual fanny pack. The truth is that I already have this spiritual fanny pack, and I carry it with me. It's always accessible if I reach for it, and it's always stocked.

My sponsor tells me all the time that I should pray to turn fear to faith, and I'm sssssllllllloooooooowwwwwwwwlllllly coming to understand just what that means. Just for today, I'm going to trust that I already have everything I need. There's no need to hoard control, b/c I have a never ending supply in my spiritual fanny pack.

Here's the reading. Enjoy!

"CONTROLLING VERSUS TRUST
There was a time in my life when I felt so afraid of and overwhelmed by the very act of living that I actually wanted to make out a schedule for each day of my life for the next five years. I wanted to include all the chores I had to do, when I would do them, even when I would schedule relaxation. I wanted to get some order into what felt overwhelming. I wanted to feel like I was in control.
Anonymous

Controlling is a direct response to our fear, panic, and sense of helplessness. It is a direct response to feeling overwhelmed, and to distrust.

We may not trust ourselves, our Higher Power, the Plan, the Universe, or the process of life. Instead of trusting, we revert to control.

We can approach this need to control by dealing with our fear. We deal with fear by trusting---ourselves, our Higher Power, the love and support of the Universe, the Plan, and this process we call life and recovery.

We can trust that when things don't work out the way we want, God has something better planned.

We can trust ourselves to get where we need to go, say what we need to say, do what we need to do, know what we need to know, be who we need to be, and become all we can become, when we are intended to do that, when we are ready, and when the time is right.

We can trust our Higher Power and the Universe to give us all the direction we need.

We can trust ourselves to listen, and respond, accordingly.

We can trust that all we need on this journey shall come to us. We will not get all we need for the entire journey today. We shall receive today's supplies today, and tomorrow's supplies tomorrow. We were never intended to carry supplies for the entire journey. The burden would be too heavy, and the way was intended to be light.

Trust in yourself. We do not have to plan, control, and schedule all things. The schedule and plan have been written. All we need to do is show up.

The way will become clear and the supplies will be amply and clearly provided, one day at a time.

Trust, my friend, in today.

Just for today, I will trust that I will receive all I need to get me through, today. I will trust that the same shall happen tomorrow."

Magic in the Rooms

Last night, I went to a meeting and started out kinda resenting the fact that the room was full of so many newcomers who just didn't get it. I had a burning desire, but didn't want to share it, because I figured the people in the room just wouldn't get it. (And no, visitor from out of state, I am NOT referring to you.) Somebody shared her own burning desire and opened it up to anyone to start. The person who started was somebody with very little time in the room, giving advice. The next person, was there for the second time. Last week, she had refused to go to the newcomers meeting b/c she's "a teacher and she knows this stuff." She went into the WWJD routine, and I was cringing. But then, all of a sudden, in the last go round, I saw this beautiful journey in the room. The brand new, very raw newcomer, the person with a couple months in the program just coming to terms with addiction as a disease, the woman who came back after her first week last week, and is struggling with everyone throwing around the word, addict, so comfortably. Everybody's on their own journey, and there really is magic in the room, when I'm willing to see it.