Saturday, October 17, 2009

OK, God.

OK, God,

Apparently you really want me to speak at a 12 step recovery program. The last time I was asked, my character defects got in the way. I said that I had already committed to another recovery program. What I didn't say was that I hadn't committed to actually do any service at that program, just to attend.

So, I got asked again. I'm supposed to speak about the principles behind the first three steps: honesty, hope, and faith.

Well, to be honest, God, my character defects of low self esteem and perfectionism almost got in the way again. But this time, I had hope that I could actually do this. And as I'm continuing on my 12 step journey, that hope has blossomed into faith. Today, I have faith that if I follow your will and do this thing rather than my will and avoid it, you'll help me choose my words so that I might be an instrument of attraction.

So, Help me, God. Remind me that it's ok to do this thing perfectly imperfectly. Help me to turn fear to faith. Help the words that we choose together to reach somebody who hasn't yet found the courage to start on this journey to start taking that first step. Help me to share at least some of the wonderful gifts that you've given me as I've journeyed through these steps again and again and again.

Thanks, God!

5 comments:

Ms Hen's said...

In Al-Anon they say to always say Yes to service. And I do.

I have been asked to speak at an AA meeting that invites an Al-Anon participant to speak the first Friday of each month. I have to do this in December. I've been to it twice with a friend.

I really felt like saying NO.

I feel a bit odd telling alcoholics how alcoholism effect my youth and adult years.. but they want to know .

So I'm doing it.. but a part of me wants to back out; or not give a real 15 minute speech on how alcoholism affected my family and me..

hugs.

Annette said...

Put your words into God's hands and let Him scatter them where they are needed...hearts that you don't even see or know about.

I am a horrible public speaker...and once I am done fumbling around and stuttering through my share, I pray that God uses it for His good. Thats all I can do...because yeah...saying yes to service is the right thing, the good thing to do.

Mary (MPJ) said...

I want to be your higher power so I can control you into feeling better and knowing how totally awesome you are going to be. Hm, guess it's time to go work on my own recovery. ;)

MargauxMeade said...

Good luck, R. I know you'll do a fabulous job.

Simon Owens said...

Hey, can you shoot me an email when you get a chance? I couldn't find your address on your blog: simon.bloggasm@gmail.com