Julia Cameron keeps talking about me

I'm on the second book in the Artist's Way series. Last week, in week 9, Julia talked about the difference between worry and fear. She says that worry is obsessive and flits from subject to subject, seeking out worst case scenerios. Worry's job is to distract us from what we're really afraid of, according to Cameron. She also says that while most of us are afraid of fear, it's actually a good grounding thing, telling us to do something to take care of ourselves.

Last week, while I was supposed to be reading this chapter, I was busy worrying- worrying that my partner was abusing my kid's narcotic pain meds, worrying that she didn't want to spend any time with me, and creating all kinds of miserable scenerios about going back to work next week. I was a mess. That wonderful friend I was just thanking said to me at one point, "What's wrong with you? You're doing everything wrong!" And she was right. Things were actually going pretty well in my life, but I was using worry to create all kinds of crazies for me all over the place.

This week, Julia's talking about me again. "Nervous, we create dramas to make ourselves more nervous. We announce, "I've been thinking about your character, and I'm not so sure I should trust it. What do you think about that, wife?" " Geesh, was she there in my house when I was codiexploding?

Julia has answers for me, when I choose to listen. This week, she's telling me to keep the drama on the stage, or for me, on the page. She says that when I'm not creating art, I am likely to create unecessary drama in my life. She's also telling me to catch myself a catcher's mitt- a somebody who encourages me, helps me focus, and when necessary, catches my pop flies. I have great catcher's mits in my life. But lately, I'm more likely to call them AFTER the balls are all lost in the field. So for today, I'm committing to writing here and to calling my catcher's mit BEFORE I throw my next ball. I'll let you know how that works out for me.