Monday, March 23, 2009

Rickety Bridge

Yesterday, my partner and I were having a conversation about a difficulty subject for both of us. She was talking about why she often pushes me away when I pursue intimacy. She said that because of her early experiences, it's like there's a rickety bridge that she has to cross over to get to her adult self. If she can make it over the bridge, then it's a wonderful experience. But, the bridge is really shaky, and often, she falls off. Meanwhile, I have my own rickety bridge that tells me that I'm not good enough and not desirable when she pushes me away. Sometimes, I can use the tools of the program and remember that it really isn't about me. But sometimes, I fall off. It makes sense that we activate each other. But the good news is that each of us is working on our own stuff and hopefully we're each fortifying our own bridges. And that today, we can talk about it.

1 comment:

Unknown said...

Just want to say that I'm extremely thankful for your post. You've articulated exactly what we go through. I'm trying to use the tools, like you say, and remember when it's not about me (and when it is.) It's frustrating because even after you figure it out, it keeps happening. It's going to take a while, and lots of work and patience. I linked here in my latest post. All the best to you and your partner-