I lost my footing in my quest for balance this week. I'd been to a family session at the hospital, where my partner expressed her anxiety about feeling like she couldn't control her behavior and then I'd put her out. I'd asked about being supportive without being enabling, and the therapist threw it back to my partner. The therapist said something about it never being helpful to be punitive, and I found myself running to MY therapist to ask her to desensitize me so that I could live with cutting.
Luckily, I realized how crazy I was being before I even got to my therapist. Here's the insight I want to try to hang on to. If I decide that I want to get desensitized so that I can feel better, that's fine. If I want to get desensitized so that I can make it more comfortable for my partner to continue to engage in unacceptable behavior, that's NOT fine!! It truly is ALL about ME!!