Wednesday, December 19, 2007

OK

My partner has been having a hard time lately, and I've been having a hard time detaching with love from her hard time.

Last night, she told me that she thought she'd take the day off today. "Ok," I said. "OK? I didn't expect that!!"

Do I feel ok? NO!! I need to acknowledge that, but not necessarily to her. It scares me because as of a week ago, she told me she only had one day off. She took a day off last week, and then missed more than 1/2 a day later in the week to go to the doctor. Math may not be my strong suit, but it "seems" that she doesn't have this day to take. It's also scary b/c frequent absences in the past have been a precurser to even more difficult times in the past. She's in a bad place. That's scary for me.

And the selfish part of me is just hurt that she chose to take 2 1/2 days just before my week's vacation. I told her last week when she was getting ready to use the one day she really did have that needed to be used before the new year that I wished she'd wait and spend the day with me over the holiday. I have to remind myself that this is not about me. She's hurting; she's not rejecting me. Note to self: make plans for ME to spend time with people I care about next week when I'm on vacation alone. Oh well, off to work. Sigh.

4 comments:

Mary P Jones (MPJ) said...

You are awesome, R. I'm loving the way you are there focusing on where you need to be. Reminds me where I need to focus too! Hope you enjoy your vacation.

Mantramine said...

That sounds like a good plan. A smart plan. It's nice when we take care of ourselves, isn't it. I need to do some of that...

joy said...

I hope I'm one of the lucky folks who gets tagged to distract you on your week off! I won't be much good to you during the days, but if you want an evening date (maybe for yoga!?), let me know.

(And is it wrong that I'm glad you might be home and available to chat with our imaginary friends all day?)

Mantramine said...

merry christmas r. CF4EVER