Live and Let Live

Yesterday's reading in the Naranon daily reader, Sharing Experience Strength and Hope, talked about the slogan, "Live and Let Live." The writer said that s/he worked it backwards. S/he first learned to let live, and then learned to live.

I realized that that slogan worked for me yesterday as soon as I chose to work it. But for me, I had to live in order to let live. I chose to spend about an hour being home alone and miserable after my expected losses. And I waited, ever so patiently, for my designated babysitter to wake up and come play with me. You know, even while I was doing it, I could see how that waiting shit so doesn't work for me. And how I was playing out the exact same psychodrama I play so well and so often with my addict without the addict in the equation. It wasn't the giving my friend space to sleep in that was a problem, any more than giving my addict that same space. It was the fact that what I was choosing to do with my time was wait for somebody else. So after an hour or so of that, I made a different choice. I went out and played with a baby. It was just what I needed to jumpstart my day.

I went out and played with my designated babysitter. She indulged me in my fantasies of creating natural consequences for my addict. Of course, the fact that I'd be creating them makes the consequences decidedly unnatural. But my wise friend didn't point that out to me. We went to a meeting, where among other things, I heard today's reading on the slogan, live and let live. I then spent a wonderful 3 hours with another friend in recovery. We sat outside listening to live music and sharing.

On my way home, I was listening to the radio and came up with the silly but fun idea of throwing myself a dance party. So that's exactly what I did. I now have a fun artist's date to report back to my Artist's Way group. And I honestly had fun alone in my house. Whoda thunk.

The not so surprising thing is that the more I live my own life, the easier it's becoming to let live. I don't need to call my addict on her addicty ways. And I don't need to create natural consequences for her. I'm too busy living.