Step 2- OA Edition

We just finished step 2 in my online writing workshop. Yesterday, we read step 2 in the OA 12 and 12 in my OA meeting. The beginning of the reading focused on the insanity of the disease of compulsive overeating. There was so much that fit me. Eating way past being full to the point of being uncomfortable over and over again is the one that resonated the most. It really is compulsive behavior.

You know, one of the first things someone told me when I was trying to understand abstinence in OA was to choose one trigger food and abstain from that. For me, it was car candy. If I have candy in the car, I over-eat it. Last week, for the first time in a while, I bought a bag of candy corn and put it in my car. I decided a few days ago to limit myself to 5 pieces in every car trip. That worked for a few days. I thought to myself that maybe I'd figured out a plan of eating car candy. But then yesterday, ON MY WAY TO MY OA MEETING, I finished off the bag. Ok, God, I guess I really AM an addict, and I can't have car candy and eat just a little.

Later in the step 2 OA reading, they talked about the destructive cycle we go through. It talked about how we turn to food for comfort, but we need more and more. It said that we keep seeking that comfort that comes from food, even when it stops working. You could have inserted crack or opiods for food in that passage, and it would have been the same. I really DO have an addiction and I really am powerless over it. There really is insanity in my relationship with food. And I have come to believe that a power greater than myself can restore me to sanity. It works for my disease of codependency. It can work for my disease of compulsive overeating as well.