Wednesday, January 23, 2008

Owning her shit

My sponsor suggests high gratitude and low expectations all the time. Today, I got another gift. My partner told me that she'd had an epiphany last night, and that she'd realized that she could have told me she was with her sponsor yesterday, that she doesn't know why she plays those headgames with me, that she knows it's inconsiderate, and that she's sorry. It felt really validating for her to say that. I didn't even tantrum or whine to get that particular gift.

I guess the feeling I had was hopeful. But then, hopeful comes with expectations. And expectations, so I'm told, are premeditated resentments. OK, me, stick to gratitude. Just for today.

3 comments:

Jay said...

Doncha love those moments? I had one a few weeks ago, when we were talking about our insane schedules and Sam said "but everything else I do is temporary, and you're permanent" and he stopped and said "Wow, I think I've been taking you for granted".

Gratitude.

Wayward Son said...

I know this dance with expectations. But I have been told that it is not expectations per se that trip us up, it is specific expectations. Tricky, huh? But I think there is something to this mystery happy outcome business.

Anonymous said...

Agreed with WS! Pure hope is hope without specific expectations.
If I could tell you one thing, it would be to get out of your head and just try to FEEL this stuff. That is where the real magic happens.
Love!