Playing Tug Of War with God

I guess I've had some lessons to learn, and maybe, just maybe, I've finally learned them. God and I have been playing tug of war over a kid who's very important to me. I think I've let the situation go, and it comes back to me. And around and around we go, faster and faster. Each time the possibility returned that she might come back into my life, I got excited, and each time it didn't come through, I was crushed. My sponsor told me that at some point, I'm going to get to the point where I can say "whatever." Well, the final (at least it appears to be final) decision is in, and she's not coming back into my life. I can't say "whatever," but I'm not crushed. I hope things work out for her the way she wants them to, though I don't think it's likely. I really hope that she learns what she needs to learn from the situation and that she comes through it stronger. Today, I participated in a healing service during the Yom Kippur service. We sang the MiSheberah, and I put her name and the name of her mother out there. I wish healing for both of them. I wish healing for me.