Today has been a great day!
I started off the day volunteering with my partner at a Therapeutic Horseback Riding program. It's a great place for us. She loves the horses. I love working with the kids with special needs. We get exercize, we get to be outdoors, we both get our needs met, and it's a far cry from how we used to spend Saturday mornings with her isolating and me obsessing about her isolating.
Then, she went off to an NA conference, and I went to my 12 step writing workshop. We were sharing about common behavior characteristics. It was really good for me to be able to allow myself to be vulnerable, and then to hear others share stories that are so remarkably like mine. I was able to get and give validation and empathy. I was even able to share some of my crazy obsessive thoughts and hear that I'm not alone.
I almost left without sticking around for the Naranon meeting that followed. I'm so glad I stayed. The leader for the night shared about his desire to work a 4th step, but how stuck he feels and how he has no idea how to go about finding a sponsor, particularly when there are no males in our group who have completed the steps. I shared some of my experience, strength and hope. I talked about tools I'd used to work step 4, and about how a group of us had co-sponsored each other in a writing workshop in early recovery. When I got home, there was a message on my voicemail from the guy who led tonight's meeting. He said that after hearing me share, he and another guy in the room exchanged phone numbers. He said they talked for over an hour tonight, and learned all kinds of things they have in common and they agreed to co-sponsor each other. He said that he's heard "don't be alone, use the phone" at the end of each of his meetings, but he'd never reached out and used the phone until today, after hearing me share. He told me he appreciates me and what I contribute to the group. Heady stuff for this codie!!
Then, it was off to the county fair with my partner. I'd heard about the fair in my 12-step study, and it was great to have a date on a Saturday night with my partner. Since she's doing 90 in 90, we don't get to go out much in the evenings. We ate ourselves silly and just got to spend easy, nice, time together.
Finally, I came home, and was checking out blogs. I've been recently reading the blog MPJ shares at Two Women Blogging. Jay, her blog partner, had shared earlier this week about one of the torah readings for the Jewish New Year, and the feelings of loss it brings up for her. I commented about some of my experiences with loss as a foster parent, but was busy beating myself up about sharing that. How could my pain compare to hers? I'm only a foster parent. Then, in today's blog, she shared about how much she was helped by hearing MY story!! Not only was my story and my experience "good enough," but she said that it helped her process her own grief. Wow!!! This connectedness stuff feels GOOD!!
Oh, and to top it all off, I think I finally get how to put links in posts thanks to JW helping me after my rant on the Write Thought.
Yep, it's been a great day!!
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5 comments:
Check you out with the connectedness -- to people and (literally, finally) to other blog posts. :)
You know, I was thinking of writing a very similar post once I get back to writing -- about how grateful I am for the community I have (on and offline) and how good they all (you all!) have made me feel during the rough time this week.
Oh, and I'm going to give you a pass on that "only" a foster parent line, because I'm hoping Jay will jump on that for me. ;)
Woohoo! I'm happy for you. It was so nice hanging out yesterday, too.
When we start to share our experience, strength, and hope magical things start to happen. It's so stupid and so very true at the same time!
Yea, you!
The horse thing is cool. My gf is trying to set up a theraputic riding program here for her clients with MI/MR. Some of them also have physical disabilities. She is close to getting it up and running. I think it's pretty exciting stuff.
Glad you had some good time with your partner. Despite the 90 in 90, time together is ALWAYS important -- I know you know ;-)
Peace,
Scout
Eating yourself silly with your partner sounds like the way my wife and I celebrate. I made the mistake of putting myself on the e-mail list of the last nice restaurant we visited and now they send these e-mails that just make me plain hungry!
I am glad she is being dilligent about the 90 in 90. I can honestly say that I am not sure that I learned anything in my 90 in 90... other than the fact that my recovery would take a commitment that had to take priority over all things (sounds like a good blog post for tomorrow).
Take care, and just wanted to let you know I have added you to my blogroll.
Oh, I wish I'd seen this sooner...I've been meaning to check you out for a couple of weeks and just got to it now.
Mary's right about the "just a foster parent" line. By any measure you are as true a parent as these kids have. As any kid has. Your love is real, and so is your loss.
Jay
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