Sunday, October 7, 2007
Too much space in my head
So, this job situation is taking up waaaay too much space in my head. I'm trying to use my tools, but as many of us seem to be saying lately, the tools themselves can be contradictory and confusing. Feel your feelings. Detach. Accept. Just for today. Well, for today, I'm not going anywhere, except to the Renaissance Festival. I know that other than what I've said already, I have no say in whether I stay where I am or am transferred again. There are good things about staying, and good things about ending up in the new place. I can trust that in the end, whatever happens will be good. The suckiest part is not knowing, and if I try to process, accept, and let go of the feelings associated with that, I'll be ok. (And if I choose to obsess my way through it, eventually I'll end up in the same place. I'll just make the journey more difficult.) If I do have to go, I can know that I just got through a similar transition, and that actually, I'd be moving to a place more in my comfort zone. (My comfort zone, crazy codependent that I am, is inner-city high needs, crisis-full rather than my current upper-middle suburbia position.) So, me, relax and go to the Renaissance Festival. What will happen, will happen. The process may suck, but I'll be ok either way. Let's try to enjoy the day and see what happens. Yep, it's yet Another Fucking Growth Opportunity!!
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5 comments:
Hope you were able to relax and enjoy the Renaissance Festival. Those can be fun.
I know that no matter where you end up, you'll be in the right place...and you'll do a fabulous job.
And I TOTALLY know everything.
For me, understanding intellectually that change is constant and the manifestation of said change emotionally are worlds apart. But I will say with unerring certainty that change for you will be all right. I am as certain as JW that you and everyone else will always be where you need to be at any given moment. Now to only practice what I preach.
WS
I'm an incest survivor in recovery from abuse since 1981. Yup, this recovery stuff is a bitch, no matter what we're recovering from. But there's no going back. (Well, except for picking up again, whether it's substances or an abusive lifestyle. But that's not an option.)
Keep up the great work.
Polly
p.s. I like your blog template. Thought I was reading my own for a second!
The group I work with has an acronym, AFGE, for Another Fucking Growth Experience.
I get it. And I'm behind on reading your blog (and most everything else) but I hope the Faire was fun.
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